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blueZ
 Post subject: a poem i wrote =)
PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 7:34 am 
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Glass
Human hearts are similar to glass
Some are dirty, some are clean
Some are fragile and some
Break easily into pieces

----

its so short its not even a poem
but do tell me what you think.

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Last edited by blueZ on Tue Apr 10, 2007 2:47 am, edited 1 time in total.

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moogie
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Mon Apr 09, 2007 10:35 am 
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the grammar of the last line is akward, perhaps if it read:

"Easily broken into pieces" or "Break easily into pieces"

I really do like the line-break between the second to last and last line, its quite subtle and nicely mirrors the whole idea of the poem.

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blueZ
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Tue Apr 10, 2007 2:46 am 
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oooh thanks

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